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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?